A's birth story

Third time round, the straightforward home birth that I wanted, with child number 3 arriving in the early hours of the morning before his brothers woke up. 

By way of background...

- I had two very different births with my first two (that I will get add to the blog) - my eldest was born in theatre with the help of forceps after a very long labour and my middle son was born in our sitting room with my husband acting as midwife. 

- Just to add to the normal worry of having a baby and adding another person into your family, we moved house when I was 37 weeks pregnant.

- I did Lazy Daisy classes during each pregnancy and found them really valuable. It was good to spend an hour each week focusing on my bump (particularly with numbers two and three) and I found the breathing techniques really helpful during labour.

- I gave hypnobirthing a go this round (thanks to a friend who had recently trained as a hypnobirthing instructor) but I don't think I gave it the time and commitment it needed. I also read 'The Positive Birth Book' by Milli Hill which I would highly recommend - it was down to earth and positive, as the name would suggest!

So A's birth story...

My main worry about moving house and being too late to register for a home birth was unfounded. The midwives didn't bat an eyelid when I booked in for a home birth at 37 weeks (despite the receptionist at the doctors who wasn't going to be speeding up any of their processes, even for a heavily pregnant lady!). At the back of my mind, I still worried about ending up in hospital for medical reasons in the same way that I had worried before having T. I told myself that it wouldn't be the end of the world if we did go to hospital as long as everyone was safe and healthy, but without really believing it.

Reaching and passing my due date was a bit of a surprise. I was pretty sure he was going to be early, partly because T had been a few days early and partly because I wasn't entirely in agreement with the dates from the hospital. I thought things were kicking off on an aborted walk to town the previous week but it was a false alarm. And then we had a really nice, very active (what turned out to be) last weekend with the two boys.

I woke up a few times in the early hours of Monday morning and after several trips to the toilet, I realised I was now too uncomfortable to fall back asleep and this probably was labour. I'm sure you're supposed to be more certain of these things the third time round but I'm not very good at trusting my instincts when it comes to having babies. I was worried about waking Mark unnecessarily but I couldn't get the TENS machine pads on my back myself so had to prod him for help around 3am. I found the TENS machine invaluable during all three labours - I think I still had the pads on my back long after having my eldest son as no-one had got round to taking them off!

Once Mark woke up, we had our usual dithering and indecision about when to phone the hospital - I think after having such a long labour the first time round I struggled to believe that things were going to move that quickly with both T and A. The last thing I wanted was a midwife hovering round me if there were hours to go. We phoned at about 4am and I remembered to say that my husband had delivered my last baby so we probably did need someone sooner rather than later.

We then heard nothing back until the midwife appeared an hour later - it turned out that, for whatever reason, the midwife couldn't get my phone number to work to call us back and luckily decided to head out anyway. There was one point when I thought Mark and I were going to be on our own again - everything with T turned out fine but I wasn't desperate to repeat the experience without the reassuring presence of a qualified midwife, despite my general suspicion of medical people.

I hadn't got round to deciding whereabouts in the house I wanted to give birth - I had T in the sitting room in our old house but that wasn't really deliberate and the room was on the first floor and felt much more private. This time round, I spent a while in our ensuite, alternating between going to the loo and clutching the bathroom sink, then moved to hanging off the side of one of the packing boxes still in our bedroom. At this point it was too late to be going anywhere else even if I had wanted to give birth in a different room!

Once the midwives had arrived around 5am I remember thinking that I probably had an hour to deliver this baby or things were going to get tricky as the boys would be waking up. The thought of Mark having to leave my side to go and deal with two sleepy, confused small boys definitely added a bit of pressure.

I found the final stages of labour a lot more intense than they were with T. That stage when the baby's head is incredibly low but not yet born felt very long this time round. I used the breathing techniques from the Lazy Daisy classes again to give me something to focus on - I must have had it vaguely right as at one point the midwife asked Mark if I had down the classes as apparently she was a Lazy Daisy instructor as well!

And I was definitely less calm, which was surprising as we had midwives in the house helping us out rather than the ambulance operator on the other end of the phone. I wonder if it was because I knew what to expect with delivering a baby this time round, and I wasn't kidding myself that it was still going to be hours and hours like I did with T. I do find it quite nerve-wracking, getting ready to welcome a new person into our family. I know pregnancy gives you many months to prepare but it does feel different once labour starts and their arrival becomes inevitable.

Despite what it felt like at the time, things were pretty quick again and I delivered A before the boys woke up - he arrived at about 5.30am and with all the activity the boys were up shortly after. I hadn't been expecting to feel under time pressure to give birth with the other two in the house - Mark's parents were on standby to collect them when needed but we hadn't thought through the logistics of trying to get the boys out of the house right in the middle of labour. It did add a bit of pressure during labour but was definitely worth it in the end to see all three of them together so soon after A was born. They had a first brotherly cuddle while the midwives sorted me out and then the grandparents whisked the older two away for the day.

I got the home birth I had hoped for third time round. It was an amazing feeling having him and then climbing straight back into my own bed; two hours later the midwives had packed up and gone, the house was quiet and we had time to meet our smallest man and feel very proud of ourselves.